A Good Thing to Remember
I received an important back-channel reminder: Everyone's experience of loss is unique; everyone's specific relational role regarding the loved one influences the intensity and duration of grief as well. It seems self evident, but it really IS a different experience for brothers and sisters, for cousins and friends, for grandparents, aunts, and uncles, for teachers and classmates, and so on. Most especially, research suggests that the impact on parents stands alone among grief experiences. Seligman, in Authentic Happiness, reported that the happiness "setpoint" of bereaved parents shows a downward re-set for a very long time, a very atypical occurrance compared to other situations of suffering. Linley and Joseph, in Positive Psychotherapy, indicated this particular traumatic loss appears different from other losses in it's duration and intensity as well. The unique experience of parents is also suggested by McLaughin's research, gathered from the point of view of nurse-as-researcher.
Showing posts with label bereavement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bereavement. Show all posts
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Follow-up
Two titles:
Suicide-Related Behaviour: Understanding, Caring and Therapeutic Responses
Suicide-Related Behaviour: Understanding, Caring and Therapeutic Responses
ISBN: 978-0-470-51241-8
Adobe E-Book
224 pages
October 2007
Henri Nouwens, The Wounded Healer
The first title is the one cited. The second speaks to Natalie's post. One memorable concept was Nouwen's discussion of the transformation of suffering into a place of hospitality for others who suffer. Suffering is part of the human condition, Nouwen writes, but it can be either exhibited or gradually exposed, like a wound slowly unbandaged.
Henri Nouwens, The Wounded Healer
The first title is the one cited. The second speaks to Natalie's post. One memorable concept was Nouwen's discussion of the transformation of suffering into a place of hospitality for others who suffer. Suffering is part of the human condition, Nouwen writes, but it can be either exhibited or gradually exposed, like a wound slowly unbandaged.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
WHERE THERE IS SADNESS
Suffering:
Is there a kind of mourning that never ends? If so, could a positive psychology perspective apply to those enduring such a loss?
Columba McLaughlin (2007) writes in her recently published book on self harm and suicide, that, of the numerous people she has met bereaved by the suicide of a loved one, none has fully recovered. Loss from suicide, she writes, produces a powerful constellation of long lasting feelings among family and friends, feelings more powerful, more long-lasting, than those of other losses. These feelings are life altering.
To many who mourn this type of loss, a look at signature strengths that existed in tact and in full range before the loss has the potential of adding pain rather than relieving it. While these former strengths may one day need "un-cloaking," they, too, represent another loss of self for the bereaved. As with help and support of any kind, readiness is the unbreakable law here as well.
But do these former strengths have, in fact, a role to play in how those who mourn seek help to approximate some level of the elusive destination, coming to terms, or to arrive at the mythical place, accepting? What do those, bereaved by the self-harm of a loved one, truly need from a positive psychology perspective? What CAN they tolerate from guided awareness of their now-transformed signature strengths? What can they be offered as they live with sadness, yet long for joy?
Is there a kind of mourning that never ends? If so, could a positive psychology perspective apply to those enduring such a loss?
Columba McLaughlin (2007) writes in her recently published book on self harm and suicide, that, of the numerous people she has met bereaved by the suicide of a loved one, none has fully recovered. Loss from suicide, she writes, produces a powerful constellation of long lasting feelings among family and friends, feelings more powerful, more long-lasting, than those of other losses. These feelings are life altering.
To many who mourn this type of loss, a look at signature strengths that existed in tact and in full range before the loss has the potential of adding pain rather than relieving it. While these former strengths may one day need "un-cloaking," they, too, represent another loss of self for the bereaved. As with help and support of any kind, readiness is the unbreakable law here as well.
But do these former strengths have, in fact, a role to play in how those who mourn seek help to approximate some level of the elusive destination, coming to terms, or to arrive at the mythical place, accepting? What do those, bereaved by the self-harm of a loved one, truly need from a positive psychology perspective? What CAN they tolerate from guided awareness of their now-transformed signature strengths? What can they be offered as they live with sadness, yet long for joy?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
