Tuesday, June 24, 2008

"Thank you for making this day necessary."

That Yogi Berra reference in the title of this post came to me this morning. I was thinking about how the unbidden experience of C.R.P.S. made Jan. 09 '09 necessary. Sometimes, folks with C.R.P.S. struggle to do ordinary self-care. It's easy to get upset when that happens, and harder to admit those non-Stoic feelings before running off to knee-jerk downward comparison, like, "I could have hooks!"


Well, I realized that 1-09-09 has become my necessary occasion. I cope because I strive. I strive because I hate pain. But I couldn't motivate myself with pain hatred alone. For me, creative, forward-directed coping works better. Sonja Lyubomyrski (2007)wrote in The How of Happiness that study participants in her lab journaled about their "optimum future selves." So, without knowing that study when this all started, I actually got that future self created in my head . That's the future self that's on the course with you folks, eating close to nature, moving, training...getting better than yesterday.

Yup, you know the drill: "Just keep swimming!"

Sonja's link:
http://chass.ucr.edu/faculty_book/lyubomirsky/

Monday, June 23, 2008

Going Nuts? Best Kinds for Nem-ites in Training

The good news is, eat some nuts. Not all are equally helpful for runners and dieters, though. What's a good anti-inflammatory for us poor 5K trainees ? According to Betsy Noxon, of Runner's World, walnuts do the trick. They are not only rich in plant based Omega-3 fatty acids, they seem to also promote increases in HDL, sometimes called the good cholesterol, while lowering the "bad" LDL levels in the blood. A handful or so of almonds have enough fiber in them that they reduce the absorption of fat and help with a crunchy good feeling of satisfaction. They supply lots of vitamin E, an antioxidant shown to improve heart health and protect against certain cancers. Nut reminder: portion control. (Nuts to that!)

Speaking of that good feeling of satisfaction, let me just point this next tip in the direction of Monica and Marissa, to name just two of you. Dark chocolate, not actually a nut but a bean, really is good for you. Liz Applegate Ph.D., also of Runner's World, brings us joy (Almond Joy?), reminding us of the powerful antioxidant flavonols in the-darker-the-better chocolate. Good for the blood, then, chocolate is also helpful as an anti-inflammatory, important for...me! Eat walnuts dipped in really dark chocolate, I say!

Here's something else I bet you know: don't get the highly processed mixed nuts, with too much added salt and oil. Buy the raw kind and toast them yourselves a little bit in the oven or stove-top. Crunch on!

More from Team Nemo

OK, Bloggers. Time to give high-fives and 3 cheers to those Bloggers out there who are training hard for Team Nemo and the Jan. 9th 5 K at Disney's Animal Kingdom.

First, special shout-out to a Gimpy Blogger who just keeps swimming to rehab a foot boo-boo so she can run the Marathon at Disney that weekend. Another big pat on the back goes out to two Bloggers who are training together every morning by walking for an hour, up and down a big hill!! They are braving all kinds of wild life to do so, including deer and wild turkeys. (Easy there, Tiny Mittens. I meant the fowl, not the adult beverage!) Another Blogger had been doing major strength training until the temperature soared, walking through the sand, taking some of her men-folk along, too! Cheers to you! By the way, she carries a big stick to help climb the dunes! Just amazing! Two other Bloggers are also training together, doing a version of The Biggest Loser boot camp at the gym at least two or three times a week. AND, glad to report, my heart rate walking on the treadmill is down from 164 bpm to a lovely 112 @ 3.0 mph!! Yay! So, I haven't heard lately from some of the other Nemo enthusiasts. How are you doing? We can do this together.

As you can guess, like Gimpy Blogger, I just keep swimming, with a bunch of treadmill-ing as well. I am going after C.R.P.S. symptoms with all my might, faithfully following my home physical rehab prescriptions. The knees and shoulder/neck are improving. The right hand is still a problem. But, at least I "don't have hooks," as a guidance counselor once told one of my handicapped students. (No kidding.) Talk about ultimate downward comparison!

If you are planning on joining those going down for the Marathon Weekend, (please do!), here's a web site you may want to check out. Those registering can also get room rates and a Parks ticket package as well. I understand some people plan to bring down playing cards for apres race gatherings. This could work.
http://disneyworldsports.disney.go.com/dwws/en_US/marathon/listing?name=MarathonEventListingPage

Jeannie has designed a really neat Team Nemo shirt, as you probably already know. Maybe she could send you the link.
We can do this!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Loss and Loss

Yes, Natalie, there is a logical progression from, Eating Colors to, Where There is Sadness. OK, not "logical," but, there is connection just the same. Let me try to explain. Subtitle: Skipping Over Bad Feelings May Make Loss (pounds and inches) More Difficult Than It Already Is." (Bloggers with the "Twiggy" look, you read on, too.) Here's an example:

About 6 years ago, I foolishly took my one and only ride on "Space Mountain." I was accompanied by my entire adult nuclear family. I experienced the ride as somewhere between Dante and Faust. The thought, "Gehenna is REAL!" about summed it up for me.

And so, I needed to scream. I opened my mouth, and out came, "I'M OKAAAAY! I'M OKAAAAY! I'M OKAAAAY!!" And so I screamed, all the way until the end. Like, no one in my family was allowed to know how filled I was with feelings of helplessness, fear, regret, anger, and...sadness.

Although we still laugh about this, it was such a revealing metaphor for how I responded to my negative feelings in front of others. I didn't "get it" until very recently. And perhaps this is also true for some of my favorite Bloggers out there. Do you practice a type of Stoicism? Well, here's an expression I've heard that you may find useful: "It works until it doesn't." And is this one also familiar to you? Do you do a "skip over?" That is, do you feel so committed to making meaning of suffering and loss, you skip over the feelings like helplessness, fear, regret, anger...and sadness? This skip over, too, "works until it doesn't."

If we've hit the wall eating colors, and if training for the 5K in January is tough, if the loss of pounds and inches has led us to uncover blockages related to a deeper kind of loss, then, good for us! We ate colors, blogged together, and then, talked about the hardest thing of all, for the first time. The truth will set us thin!

So, if I could rewind Space Mountain, I'd open my mouth and scream:
I'M NOT OKAAAAY! I'M NOT OKAAAAY! THAT'S NOT SO HARD TO SAAAAY! THAT'S NOT SO HARD TO SAAAAY!!!
luv u
V'emo

A Good Thing to Remember

A Good Thing to Remember

I received an important back-channel reminder: Everyone's experience of loss is unique; everyone's specific relational role regarding the loved one influences the intensity and duration of grief as well. It seems self evident, but it really IS a different experience for brothers and sisters, for cousins and friends, for grandparents, aunts, and uncles, for teachers and classmates, and so on. Most especially, research suggests that the impact on parents stands alone among grief experiences. Seligman, in Authentic Happiness, reported that the happiness "setpoint" of bereaved parents shows a downward re-set for a very long time, a very atypical occurrance compared to other situations of suffering. Linley and Joseph, in Positive Psychotherapy, indicated this particular traumatic loss appears different from other losses in it's duration and intensity as well. The unique experience of parents is also suggested by McLaughin's research, gathered from the point of view of nurse-as-researcher.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Follow-up

Two titles:

Suicide-Related Behaviour: Understanding, Caring and Therapeutic Responses
ISBN: 978-0-470-51241-8
Adobe E-Book
224 pages
October 2007

Henri Nouwens, The Wounded Healer

The first title is the one cited. The second speaks to Natalie's post. One memorable concept was Nouwen's discussion of the transformation of suffering into a place of hospitality for others who suffer. Suffering is part of the human condition, Nouwen writes, but it can be either exhibited or gradually exposed, like a wound slowly unbandaged.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

How to Post a Comment

Hi, folks. I've received several comments on the back channel. I'm wondering if you'd really like to post to the blog so we all can share the ideas you've shared with me. If you'd like to post, click on "comments." If you have a g-mail account. click on that, type in the secret word and post. If you don't use g-mail, still post as "anonymous" and sign your name at the bottom, if you wish.
Thanks, all. We all hope to hear from you soon.

WHERE THERE IS SADNESS

Suffering:

Is there a kind of mourning that never ends? If so, could a positive psychology perspective apply to those enduring such a loss?

Columba McLaughlin (2007) writes in her recently published book on self harm and suicide, that, of the numerous people she has met bereaved by the suicide of a loved one, none has fully recovered. Loss from suicide, she writes, produces a powerful constellation of long lasting feelings among family and friends, feelings more powerful, more long-lasting, than those of other losses. These feelings are life altering.

To many who mourn this type of loss, a look at signature strengths that existed in tact and in full range before the loss has the potential of adding pain rather than relieving it. While these former strengths may one day need "un-cloaking," they, too, represent another loss of self for the bereaved. As with help and support of any kind, readiness is the unbreakable law here as well.

But do these former strengths have, in fact, a role to play in how those who mourn seek help to approximate some level of the elusive destination, coming to terms, or to arrive at the mythical place, accepting? What do those, bereaved by the self-harm of a loved one, truly need from a positive psychology perspective? What CAN they tolerate from guided awareness of their now-transformed signature strengths? What can they be offered as they live with sadness, yet long for joy?

Monday, June 9, 2008

Eating Colors

Folks, (Jeannie and Emily in particular), I'm not nibbling on the Crayola 96-s. Not this time, anyhow. The Nemo Team is so nutritionally advanced, I feel certain you've all heard vibrantly colorful foods are vibrantly healthy foods. So let's build one terrific Crayola Plate for ourselves. Take a look.

What colors are good for your eyes, and bones, and increased circulation? Think of those dark green leafy sources of plant omega-3s and folate, like spinach, kale, and romaine. Next, what's a good heart healthy color, that can also increase immunity, and decrease the risk for certain cancers? This is a good one: add red to the plate, with antioxidant lycopenes, in foods like tomatoes, watermelon, and papaya, to name just three. So what could be the color of another cancer-fighter and immunity-booster ... one that's GOOD FOR THE EYES? You've got this one: add orange to the plate now, with carrots or any other carotinoid-rich veggie or fruit, like pumpkin, mango, yummy butternut squash, or our big favorite, sweet potatoes. Gayle, could you give us a hint as to what color to add to the plate for really big memory enhancement? Go true blue! Add the blueberry, aka, the "brain berry," rich in antioxidants, fiber, and vitamins A and B. You can also get your blue on with Acai berries from the Amazon, even richer in antioxidants than blueberries. While we're adding brain power, what food is rich in anthocyanins for improving brain function. Hint: Hannibal Lechter thinks these go good with brain. Yes, you guessed fava beans, although I prefer black beans for color contrast on the Crayola Plate. Looks nice; tastes so good.

Now, how about finding some hidden colors you may have consumed today? The UK's Food Studies Agency recently suggested some of these colors may be related to ADHD. So smart you are. You know they are additives. But do you know where they are??? Look around the house for sunset yellow, carmoisine, ponceau 4R, tartrazine, quinoline yellow and allura red. How about checking for "Blue 1, 2"; "Red 3" and "Green 3" and "Yellow 6." Unlike their found-in-nature counterparts, these colors are linked with tumor formation. Found any yet? Check your soda bottles, candies, fruit cocktail, cherries, sausage, baked goods and...don't eat this...pet food. You can find more info at the "Mayo Clinic"- and the "MSN Health and Fitness"- websites.

So, take a look. We've colored inside and outside the lines with our pick of savor-ful, colorful foods that add life to our lives. We've also found invisibly bright food colors that don't. After all we've seen today, I can hear two colorful words from Deuteronomy that sum it up for me: "Choose life."

Saturday, June 7, 2008

From Gayle in Argentina

Give up your day job, Virginia, and keep writing! Ain't seen an aspartame berry yet, and never hope to cross one while culling our own juicy strawberries and blueberries...And I'd rather go hungry than sell our soy and let the Argentine President claim 44-95% of our gross soy income. Oops, gotta run, the horse-drawn cart has pulled up out front with farm-fresh eggs (adorned with a bit of chicken shit?), crispy lettuce, not-pretty-enough-for-export mandarin oranges, and, alas, the same flannelly tomatoes I used to buy in NY. Be here for dinner at 9 or 10 pm—bring some Malbec, please! Besos, Gayle

Gayle Scroggs, Ph.D.
International Coach and TranslatorSan Nicolas, Buenos Aires, ARGENTINA
tele: + 54+3461+463413 www.essencecoaching.com - Coaching for those who move to be happy or are moved to be happy!
http://romancingargentina.blogspot.com ~ immigrant tales from the land of gauchos, volcano ash, and farm protests
http://positiveexpat.blogspot.com - on how to be happy anywhere

Ponder

What do aspartame berries look like? Have you ever gone hunting for nitrites in the dark? Or even nitrates, for that matter? What if today we thought about fruit of the vine and work of human hands in a slightly more focused way?

What if today we all "pondered" everything we consumed? For those interested in thinning out the "big girl" look, pondering will slow down consumption. For those just interested in trying this out, it will definitely add to savoring each mouthful.

Let's think for a minute about the sweat equity that went into my "twigs and bark" (Uncle John, 2008) breakfast. Geez! My blueberries came from FL. I didn't buy the land they grew on, till it, fertilize it, protect it, plant on it, nurture the seedlings, irrigate them, sweat in the sun to harvest them, truck to market, and buy the gas (! whoa !) to do that! What if it were all about my very own hands, my very own back, my very own know-how to get those berries from evolution to my unworthy mouth this morning?

What if just for today I imaged that I returned to agrarian, hunter-gatherer roots? What if I only consumed today what I were willing to labor for, or hunt, or slaughter, or kill by my own self? Geez, I'd be hungry! Oh, I'd be OK with the agrarian part. I have a little bit of experience there..a LITTLE bit. But the predator part would be hard. I think of fishing with Uncle Joe, dragging nets with Billy, Janet, and Tommy, digging clams with my toes over at the ocean with Bobby Herbert. Yeah, maybe I could do fish and bivalves. But then I think of Daddy Bill and his squirrel traps. Oy Vey! So, today folks, I've made up my mind: local produce and a touch of sea food...and lots of water to keep me full!! Yeah, if I had to sweat for every mouthful every day, there'd be no "big girl" look to worry about.