Did Yo Know? Positive Psychology Seminar in Pleasantville, NY

Get excited about the first mobile app of a full positive psychology program. Live Happy (tm) was developed with Signal Patterns Labs in Pleasantville and Sonja Lyubimirsky, author of The How of Happiness.

Ran Zilca, researcher and CEO of Signal Patterns Labs, will be discussing Sonja's research, as well as the work of Barbara Frederickson, and other Positive Psychology scientists. It should be a very enjoyable evening. Registration is $10, and includes a buffet dinner. The date is Sunday. Sept. 15, from 4-6 pm.

If you're in the area, Pleasantville is very pleasant, ... as are the people who have already reserved a spot. And, you can see, the registration fee is so Recession Sensitive! Come if you can, (DV).

The rest of the details can be found below:

A Positive Psychology Seminar
State-of-the-Art Research-based Interventions and Tools
Guest Speaker: Ran Zilca, PhD, Researcher and CEO of Signal Patterns Labs*
Sunday, September 13th, from 4:00 to 6:00 p.m. at Signal Patterns’ Labs, 42 Memorial Plaza, Suite 210, Pleasantville, NY
Hosted by Change for Good Coaching, LLC and Signal Patterns
In this networking dinner meeting for the interested, for therapists and life coaches:

Take part
...in the debut of Live Happy™ the first professional grade mobile application implementing a full positive psychology program

Learn
What Makes People Happy - what happiness is and how can it be measured

Consider
The Benefits of the Pursuit of Happiness - for work, love, and health, and why it is important

Discuss
How Practitioners Can Help Clients – to boost mood, increase happiness, and improve overall psychological well-being

Take Away
Measures and assessments, activities, interventions, mobile and web-based tools designed to assist clients in achieving goals, improving mood, level of happiness and overall psychological well-being.

Registration for this networking dinner event is now open for mental health professionals and coaches. Cost of $ 10 includes a Buffet Dinner (French Cuisine). Space is limited, so registration will be accepted on a first come, first served basis. To register and/or for more information, Email: DrJillReed@aol.com or call Change for Good Coaching, LLC at 914-762-3980

 
*Signal Patterns develops psychology-based web and mobile applications that help individuals improve their well-being and relationships with others. Signal Patterns developed LIVE HAPPY™, a mobile happiness-boosting application based on cutting edge positive psychology research. Developed by a team of over 20 PhDs worldwide, Signal Patterns” online professional-grade solutions include self and relationship assessments, positive psychology activities and social tools for connecting with like-minded individuals.

Shirley, Goodness and Mercy...and Aunt Stasia

With all the best intentions, my first week of preparation for the 5K revealed the need for refurbishment. My partially-met goal was a week of seafood and 50% raw plant-based food, for 2 meals a day. Coach Gayle and I had a conversation about this, creating a positive re-frame for the coming week. This led me to understand something about using different strengths to find success. In searching for inspiration, I found some wonderful support.

And so it happened, then, that I got up and went to the kitchen this morning to make seafood-based lunch. That’s exactly where I found the inspirational quartet of chefs, Shirley, Goodness, Mercy, and Aunt Stasia. We worked happily, preparing tuna salad, chopping crunchy raw veggies to mix in. We seasoned with vinegar. And so, we prepared the core of lunches for several days. No waiting until lunchtime when I’m too tired and too hungry to fix tuna salad. Because I had such lovely company, it was done, not with pain, but joy.

What different strengths did I use? I considered the VIA Signature Strengths found under the category of “Temperance: strengths that protect against excess.” I was surprised to find “Forgiveness and mercy” as the first on the list! Next came, of all things, “Humility,” then “Prudence” and “Self regulation.” But those two I expected.

Here’s what I learned. I’m angry and have some gaps in forgiveness that give me an appetite to get even!! I’m never full, as vengeance creates a hole in me. So, positively speaking, I can write the offender’s name in the center of a page, write some words describing the hurt right under the name, and enclose them all in a big circle. Next, I can draw 15 (!) circles around the center one, and fill them with the “Goodness” things about that person. Mercy plugs the hole, appetite-wise!

Humility comes next. I found that I have to be humble enough to bless me along with the food, not seeking lime-light, but rather being modest in receiving kind feelings about myself. This fills me up and makes portion control a non-issue. My real hunger is for “succor.” And that is exactly where Aunt Stasia re-enters the inspiration. She is my model of humility, but more so, the very one I think of first when I think of blessing me.
Surely (aka “Shirley”) goodness and mercy (...and Aunt Stasia) will follow me all the days of my life.

"Live Happy" iPod Application

Say, friends of Positive Psychology AND tech stuff, here's something really new on the scene. Let me share this invitation with you. You may find it of some interest.


CLIENTS NEED A HAPPINESS BOOST?
THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT!
An Invitation to a Seminar on the LIVE HAPPY™ Application for the iPhone:
A Happiness-Boosting Positive Psychology Program

LIVE HAPPY is a comprehensive, first of its kind, mobile happiness-boosting application developed by Signal Patterns’ SP Labs research team together with Dr. Sonja Lyubormirsky, author of the book The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want and professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.

Who should come?
• Mental health professionals/Psychotherapists
• Life Coaches

Be among the first clinicians in the world to learn how to optimize the benefits of this cutting edge research-based positive psychology application for your clients!

With the Live Happy App your clients can:
• Measure their moods and happiness level
• Take a personality test and identify their character strengths
• Learn which activities are best for them
• Engage in easy-to-do activities proven to increase happiness

This seminar is co-sponsored by Change for Good Coaching, LLC and Signal Patterns’ Labs.

Hosts and Seminar Leaders:
Come meet Ran Zilca, CEO and Founder of Signal Patterns’ SP Labs, developer of the Live Happy™ App
Jill Reed, Psy.D., CEO and Founder, Change for Good Coaching, LLC, Clinical Psychologist and Positive Psychology Life Coach
Virginia Hurley, Ed.D., ACC, Change for Good Coaching, LLC, Positive Psychology Life Coach

PLEASE JOIN US FOR THE SEMINAR, DINNER AND AN OPPORTUNITY TO NETWORK!

Where: Signal Patterns’ Labs, 42 Memorial Plaza, Suite 210, 2nd Floor, Pleasantville (Across from the Train Station, between Starbucks and Post Office)

When: Sunday, August 9, 2009 from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Cost: $ 10

RESERVATIONS ARE REQUIRED AS SEATING IS LIMITED
Email: DrJillReed@aol or call Change for Good Coaching, LLC at 914-762-3980

(It is not necessary to own an iPhone or iPod Touch to attend this event!)

When Aunt Stasia Ran the Kitchen

Tidewriting
...written in the sand; carried by the sea


Once, before there was buying in bulk, and living with bulk, Aunt Stasia ran the kitchen. She knew all about "re-use, reduce, and recycle," but didn't call them that. That's just the way things were. It was not a time of excess; it was a time of enough. And that's what made for enjoyment, and contentment for all of us within the range of her nurture.

We really didn't seem to have numerous containers for left-overs, if I remember correctly. A meal was considered well-planned and well-prepared if the clean-up did not include putting away lots of food. There was enough, for everybody. And, there were many, many everybodies.

One really important lesson was entitled, "Don't spoil your appetite!" To spoil your appetite did not bless the hands that prepared the meal. The meal was your nutrition, as well as an object of gratitude. We were mindful, back then, of the One who provided and the one who prepared, and were truly grateful because we did not go in want.

So, the term "snack food" would have been greeted with, "What?" I remember every so often having a strange sensation upon arriving home from my swim in the ocean. Now, in my 60th decade, I recognize it as hunger, but didn't then. "Hunger" came but three times a day, and 3:00 pm wasn't one of them. Yet every so often, food started looking incredibly good to me. This included corn flakes, any summer fruit, and an amazing Nabisco cookie called, "Melody Wafers." I would start sniffing around the kitchen after my shower. It apparently set off a sensor somewhere, and Aunt Stasia would appear. "Don't spoil your appetite!" (At 5 pm, supper was on the table.) So, ON OCCASION, I would be allowed a plum, a nectarine, a small cereal-size bowl of corn flakes with milk, or a Melody wafer with a very small glass of milk--too small to dunk. Oh, so tasty! And, if all went well, by the time supper was over, I had very nicely cleaned my plate.

There was big a protocol about eating the last piece, last slice, or last mouthful. Someone with stature at the table got the last piece. No one ever wanted to presume on that status. Indeed, the last piece always had to be pressed upon one, and never grabbed for. This came down through the generations as an object lesson. In fact, it was the men-folk who repeated cautionary tales involving mythical guests at the table who once stuck their own forks into the last piece of whatever was on the platter. Two no-nos were represented: sticking your own fork, and taking the last piece. So, this well-learned protocol may well have assisted us in starting up the brain-based "stop eating" hormones a little in advance of being filled to the gills. In truth, there was perfectly enough, down to the last thin slice of marinated flank steak.

When Aunt Stasia ran the kitchen, we ate well, felt well, savored the freshness of what we ate, and the company in which we ate it. We were active, healthy, helpful, considerate of the wants of others, and laughed a great deal as we did the dishes together. When Aunt Stasia ran the kitchen, we could not spoil our appetites ever for the love and kindness she served up in abundance.

What rings true for you here? If you could have it now, what would you want more of?

Models of Savoring

This is
Tidewriting
...written in the sand; carried by the sea.




Who are the models of savoring?


Once there was a rabbi teaching the crowds.
And the little children ran up to him and clung to him while he taught.
His followers tried to shoo the little children away, but the rabbi said,
“Allow the little children to come to me, and don’t forbid them, for of such is the
kingdom of heaven.”


The kingdom of heaven? All savoring all the time. No counterpoints of suffering,
no more, “time to go.” No more, “put that down now.” No more, “you’ve had enough,” and,
no more “say goodbye.”

And, most little children? Gifted with wonderment, delight, and zest.
Pleased by positive recollection. Immersed in the present. Elevated by
anticipation.

All savoring, all the time.

“All the way to heaven IS heaven.”
Therese de Lisieux

Glory!

What a strange word: "glory." Have you ever thought about it? If any of you have ever contemplated "glory," please come to my assistance, make haste to help me understand what YOU understand.







What if you free-associated-- "glory," "glorify," "glorious"?





Have there been times you've heard it used or used it yourself?





What's it like for you to think about "glory"?







"Why bring up this word ?" you're likely thinking, and "How is this Nemo-esque?" Well, it all has to do with the Appreciative Inquiry idea of "reversing the focus." Reversing the focus is a big help to forward motion over the long haul.







What if, say, you are in training for something like, oh for instance, the January Marathon Weekend at Disney? And what if this training has been lengthy, and up-and-down, and is presently fraught with pre-holiday negativity? What if your self-talk right now leans toward the critical and the limiting? What if you need to hear your story differently in order to power-up during these last weeks?





Now I'm not actually talking about the "glory of the finish line," although that is WONDERFUL to imagine. I'm talking about a more puzzling notion that glory isn't only to be found at the finish line, but is also all around us all the time. One thing Nematodes have figured out long since: the journey IS the destination. Perhaps glory is like that, too.







One morning earlier this month, I accidentally overheard my own self-talk. It was disquieting in its gloomy tone. Not so good to hear. So I lifted my ears to the heavens, and what should come down to me but the word "Glory." And that's the back story for all my questions today. I don't understand it, but I can tell you that when I think of "glory," I can't keep thinking despairing thoughts. It's impossible to still have increases in negative self-talk and at the same time be curious about the meaning of...the existence of...glory.







Here's a poem I associate with an aspect of glory:

Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844–89). Poems. 1918.

7. God’s Grandeur

THE WORLD is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil

Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
5
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.
And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
10
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs—
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

And here's another one about a glorious creature who takes my breath away:

William Blake. 1757–1827

489. The Tiger

TIGER, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies
5
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
10
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand and what dread feet?
What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp
15
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
When the stars threw down their spears,
And water'd heaven with their tears,
Did He smile His work to see?
Did He who made the lamb make thee?
20
Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

So, what are your thoughts on "glory"?

regards,

v

Progress

Dear Folks: Things are looking up. Here's a word of encouragement. Just returned from a fast weekend trip to Orlando. What's changed? Seems the JetBlue seats have gotten bigger and the seat belts are more generous. Oh wait: am I smaller around?

Well, last time visiting FL, in late April, I was using a little electric scooter chair to get around because I couldn't walk very well. I also needed a cane. Pain management was hit and miss, and I was eating "lefty." Every struggle issue of April past has improved. Rejoice, folks! Rejoice for us all! With your help, I'm walkin' around like a trooper. The secret? Same as yours: just keep swimming. Say, don't tire of your good work. Steady trembling knees. Strengthen weary hands.

How are you folks doing? Are you giving Team Nemo a try still? Send us all an encouraging word. The new school year has started. Lots of schedules have changed. But do let's try to make that goal and join each other in January. That will be a victory worth a medal, whether or not we cross anyone else's finish line.

Speaking of which, this weekend three of us reached an intermediate goal of significance to us: we are now light enough to ride a Segway! We had a short trial run. FUN!! It was a prize! Losing those particular "Segway pounds" meant so much. High 5s to the three riders in the wind!

Tell us, have you reached any special goals on your way to January's 5K? We could all use a good narrative from you.
With love and blessings,
Avec amour et joie,
V

"Thank you for making this day necessary."

That Yogi Berra reference in the title of this post came to me this morning. I was thinking about how the unbidden experience of C.R.P.S. made Jan. 09 '09 necessary. Sometimes, folks with C.R.P.S. struggle to do ordinary self-care. It's easy to get upset when that happens, and harder to admit those non-Stoic feelings before running off to knee-jerk downward comparison, like, "I could have hooks!"


Well, I realized that 1-09-09 has become my necessary occasion. I cope because I strive. I strive because I hate pain. But I couldn't motivate myself with pain hatred alone. For me, creative, forward-directed coping works better. Sonja Lyubomyrski (2007)wrote in The How of Happiness that study participants in her lab journaled about their "optimum future selves." So, without knowing that study when this all started, I actually got that future self created in my head . That's the future self that's on the course with you folks, eating close to nature, moving, training...getting better than yesterday.

Yup, you know the drill: "Just keep swimming!"

Sonja's link:
http://chass.ucr.edu/faculty_book/lyubomirsky/

More from Team Nemo

OK, Bloggers. Time to give high-fives and 3 cheers to those Bloggers out there who are training hard for Team Nemo and the Jan. 9th 5 K at Disney's Animal Kingdom.

First, special shout-out to a Gimpy Blogger who just keeps swimming to rehab a foot boo-boo so she can run the Marathon at Disney that weekend. Another big pat on the back goes out to two Bloggers who are training together every morning by walking for an hour, up and down a big hill!! They are braving all kinds of wild life to do so, including deer and wild turkeys. (Easy there, Tiny Mittens. I meant the fowl, not the adult beverage!) Another Blogger had been doing major strength training until the temperature soared, walking through the sand, taking some of her men-folk along, too! Cheers to you! By the way, she carries a big stick to help climb the dunes! Just amazing! Two other Bloggers are also training together, doing a version of The Biggest Loser boot camp at the gym at least two or three times a week. AND, glad to report, my heart rate walking on the treadmill is down from 164 bpm to a lovely 112 @ 3.0 mph!! Yay! So, I haven't heard lately from some of the other Nemo enthusiasts. How are you doing? We can do this together.

As you can guess, like Gimpy Blogger, I just keep swimming, with a bunch of treadmill-ing as well. I am going after C.R.P.S. symptoms with all my might, faithfully following my home physical rehab prescriptions. The knees and shoulder/neck are improving. The right hand is still a problem. But, at least I "don't have hooks," as a guidance counselor once told one of my handicapped students. (No kidding.) Talk about ultimate downward comparison!

If you are planning on joining those going down for the Marathon Weekend, (please do!), here's a web site you may want to check out. Those registering can also get room rates and a Parks ticket package as well. I understand some people plan to bring down playing cards for apres race gatherings. This could work.
http://disneyworldsports.disney.go.com/dwws/en_US/marathon/listing?name=MarathonEventListingPage

Jeannie has designed a really neat Team Nemo shirt, as you probably already know. Maybe she could send you the link.
We can do this!

Loss and Loss

Yes, Natalie, there is a logical progression from, Eating Colors to, Where There is Sadness. OK, not "logical," but, there is connection just the same. Let me try to explain. Subtitle: Skipping Over Bad Feelings May Make Loss (pounds and inches) More Difficult Than It Already Is." (Bloggers with the "Twiggy" look, you read on, too.) Here's an example:

About 6 years ago, I foolishly took my one and only ride on "Space Mountain." I was accompanied by my entire adult nuclear family. I experienced the ride as somewhere between Dante and Faust. The thought, "Gehenna is REAL!" about summed it up for me.

And so, I needed to scream. I opened my mouth, and out came, "I'M OKAAAAY! I'M OKAAAAY! I'M OKAAAAY!!" And so I screamed, all the way until the end. Like, no one in my family was allowed to know how filled I was with feelings of helplessness, fear, regret, anger, and...sadness.

Although we still laugh about this, it was such a revealing metaphor for how I responded to my negative feelings in front of others. I didn't "get it" until very recently. And perhaps this is also true for some of my favorite Bloggers out there. Do you practice a type of Stoicism? Well, here's an expression I've heard that you may find useful: "It works until it doesn't." And is this one also familiar to you? Do you do a "skip over?" That is, do you feel so committed to making meaning of suffering and loss, you skip over the feelings like helplessness, fear, regret, anger...and sadness? This skip over, too, "works until it doesn't."

If we've hit the wall eating colors, and if training for the 5K in January is tough, if the loss of pounds and inches has led us to uncover blockages related to a deeper kind of loss, then, good for us! We ate colors, blogged together, and then, talked about the hardest thing of all, for the first time. The truth will set us thin!

So, if I could rewind Space Mountain, I'd open my mouth and scream:
I'M NOT OKAAAAY! I'M NOT OKAAAAY! THAT'S NOT SO HARD TO SAAAAY! THAT'S NOT SO HARD TO SAAAAY!!!
luv u
V'emo

Follow-up

Two titles:

Suicide-Related Behaviour: Understanding, Caring and Therapeutic Responses

Columba McLaughlin

ISBN: 978-0-470-51241-8

Adobe E-Book

224 pages

October 2007

Henri Nouwens, The Wounded Healer

The first title is the one cited. The second speaks to Natalie's post. One memorable concept was Nouwen's discussion of the transformation of suffering into a place of hospitality for others who suffer. Suffering is part of the human condition, Nouwen writes, but it can be either exhibited or gradually exposed, like a wound slowly unbandaged.

WHERE THERE IS SADNESS

Suffering:

Is there a kind of mourning that never ends? If so, could a positive psychology perspective apply to those enduring such a loss?

Columba McLaughlin (2007) writes in her recently published book on self harm and suicide, that, of the numerous people she has met bereaved by the suicide of a loved one, none has fully recovered. Loss from suicide, she writes, produces a powerful constellation of long lasting feelings among family and friends, feelings more powerful, more long-lasting, than those of other losses. These feelings are life altering.

To many who mourn this type of loss, a look at signature strengths that existed in tact and in full range before the loss has the potential of adding pain rather than relieving it. While these former strengths may one day need "un-cloaking," they, too, represent another loss of self for the bereaved. As with help and support of any kind, readiness is the unbreakable law here as well.

But do these former strengths have, in fact, a role to play in how those who mourn seek help to approximate some level of the elusive destination, coming to terms, or to arrive at the mythical place, accepting? What do those, bereaved by the self-harm of a loved one, truly need from a positive psychology perspective? What CAN they tolerate from guided awareness of their now-transformed signature strengths? What can they be offered as they live with sadness, yet long for joy?